Do you have a box? Do you live in it? With the lid closed? Or, are you standing in it, one foot in and one foot out? Did you already pack your box with shit and send it away? Did you recycle it? Boxes….we all talk about them, about ours, other people’s and getting out of them. Our favorite toy as a child may have become our prison in adulthood.
I’ve got a burr in my box about this lately. I feel like there are 2 things in life that make us feel like we are really living….and those are the highest highs and the lowest lows. The lows come on their own….often without any help from you. But, the highs….the highest highs come from adventure and risk. If you are so taped into your box, that you don’t ever try anything new, there is never change and growth and how boring life would be? And, rest assured, I am not talking about driving at night, wearing sunglasses, with your headlights off (easier to do back in the day)….or jumping out of an airplane. The Eels wrote a song about it.
I am talking about saying yes to one unexpected invitation a week or a month. Or, going to a new restaurant. Or, walking a different way when you take the dogs out. Listening to 3 songs on a radio station you never listen to. You will have to decide what “risk” is right for you. But, do it.
I would not consider myself a risk taker……but, I am writing a blog for any and all to access….and, I am having the most difficult time lately with people who are so stuck in their box, they are going to be buried in it. I am not even sure why it bothers me so much. Am I jealous of others ability to just hang out status quo? Hmmmm. No….that is why I keep trying new things. Do I need validation that I am doing the right thing? Doubtful….I spent 12 years in catholic school and yet….I write porn. So, if I was worried about what people thought…..
Maybe because I feel like they are wasting time. We are getting older, time is getting shorter. We are losing peers. But, we are still a long way from elastic waistband “slacks” and dead (but, I would say when I start wearing elastic waistband slacks…..death will not be far off). Do things. Have fun. Change it up a little. I just want to shake the shit out of them. I want these box people to feel the elation that I feel. I want them to feel like they are living. I’ve gotten a second chance…..I just want to share.
And, you know what……? They just don’t care. They are happy and content in their box. They don’t look at me or anyone else and think “I should do that”. They think, “cool.” That is all. AND. I. JUST. DON’T. GET. IT.
A few years ago someone dumped me out of my box and then sent the box through the shredder. A few months later, they lit that thing on fire. I was forced to change. And, I fought that shit like it was my job. For a while. Then, gradually, I started to let go. Let go of the box I was in. Let go of all of the boxes I had put together in my youth. I realized that things didn’t have to stay the same. I didn’t have to have (or be or do) anything I thought I had to have or be in the past. I pulled a thread. And, I kept at it. Now, I rush head first into change….because it means new experiences, new joys. I have been able to re-achieve almost childlike wonder….or, is that because I let go of my expectations?
And, boy have I let go of my expectations. All of them, I think. So, now, instead of sifting through expectations and whether or not they are met, I can just respond. “It’s Thanksgiving and the turnkey tastes like crap.” Cool. Let’s go to IHOP. “Mom….can we have Thanksgiving with Dad this year? I know it is your turn, but……” Sure…..what day should we do our Thanksgiving and how should we do it? Traditional or sushi? You get the idea. When you let go of the expectations, you are rarely disappointed.
This might not seem like a big deal to some of you….but, to me……WOW!!!! And, I have to say…..I am so much more peaceful. Life is not perfect…..I still want these box people to stop wasting time……..