Two years ago I was writing about the song, “Baby it’s Cold Outside“. Remember that? We were knee deep into the #MeToo movement. And, look where we are now. And look at all that has happened. I’ve been on this planet a long time and I ain’t never seen anything like this. I live in the greater metropolitan area of the capital of California – so, it’s a shitshow. You can all relate, I’m sure.
Two years ago, I was just getting ready to have a boob removed, or as I like to call it, weight loss surgery. Hey, my boobs are/were giant. I spent the better part of 2019 fighting for my life. So, I get through that and go back to my day job. That was a challenge. As I was getting my sea legs, my dad’s health started to seriously decline. I knew that 2020 was going to be a challenging year for me. Even after what I had been through. I had no idea. Literally. That was January. I distinctly recall a conversation with a coworker. We both figured we would lose our dads this year. We vowed to drag each other through it. Then the fires, Kobe, more fires. And the damned covid shutdown. Then BLM mayhem, election ridiculousness. Incidentally, I am fortunate to have friends on all stops of the political spectrum. Is Biden the wonderful human the Dems think he is? Did Trump win like all the right wingers believe? I always say I don’t like to get political on my blog – but, holy cow is this a nightmare.
I have learned that you absolutely cannot believe what the media is spreading on you. You cannot believe the politicians – well, I always knew that was true. I had a friend, someone I loved a long time. When he told me he wanted to go into politics, my heart broke. Seriously, the last piece of openhearted love I had for him, shrivelled up and died that day. But, I digress. You cannot believe the things your friends will tell you. My most liberal of friends felt that Trump being President was going to ruin the country. My rightest wingers see conspiracies everywhere. What is right? What is wrong? Who is right? Who is wrong. I sure as fuck don’t know.
As Covid hit and the shutdown began, I was lucky to discover that my day job is essential. It is so wonderful to be essential after all the thanklessness and bs that comes with motherhood. I have shared that with all of my friends. They cannot believe I’m essential, either. So, while being essential is awesome, it meant that as the rest of the world was on pause, we were still going strong. Then we even got busier. We had to develop a plan and process to get all 120 of our essential workers transitioned to a remote work environment. Then, we got busy and busier. I felt like I was in a whirlwind and had no idea what was going to happen.
So, here we are, pulling up on the end of the year. Everyone I know is not sorry to see 2020 in the rear view. I’m not so sure if 2021 in the windshield holds much more hope. My kids are struggling with their emotional health, and I am too, frankly. This blog is me pushing myself to keep moving forward. I love writing, I need to get back to it. There is so much uncertainty, frustration, fear, and confusion everywhere you look, it is a little overwhelming.
As someone who has been around a few blocks, I can say with certainty, that we will get through this. This may or may not be a blip on the radar. It may be the start of things to come – all of that dystopia nonsense everyone else is writing about. But, I know I still love my family and friends (the worriers and wingers). My day to day activities have been curbed (oh, how they have been curbed. I can’t believe how much I miss my shitty little life. I don’t mean it was bad, but it was boring. I wasn’t doing anything grand or large.) but that just means I need to find (and motivate myself) to continue to move forward to find ways to make this Covid life gratifying, too.
Oh, I long for the days when our biggest worry was if some old holiday classic should be banned. I doubt I will long for the Covid days. Here’s to bigger and better things in 2021. You can do it, 2021 – 2020 didn’t set the bar very high.