Where Have You Been All of My Life?

What is it with me and blondes lately?  Seriously.  I have never really had a “type”……I have dated them all. Well…not like that.  But, Dexter Holland, lead singer of the Offspring, is the blond that started my downward (?) spiral.

Dex, Dex, Dex….where have you been all of my life? I feel a little too old to have a teenage crush on a rockstar….but, this one….you are going to love him too. And….he is perfect for me…..

First…..let’s start with who he is for the uninitiated….the Offspring is a punk/surf/skater/metal mariachi/ska Southern California rock band. Most of you are going to say….”Never heard of them. Now or when you mentioned them a few blogs back. They must be new.”

“They are not fucking new”…..I state incredulously….really…this is one of the most underrated bands I have ever seen.  They have been around almost 30 years……Still don’t know why I get so irritated, though. Here is their first hit; my current favorite – the first verse is genius; discourse on “kids today”; the one you know.

I probably should have started with the most important thing…he has the cutest dimples. OMG…the cutest….and, I don’t really even like them.  This kid must have gotten away with everything when he was younger……I had no idea dimples would translate so well on an aging rockstar. (For years I listened to this band. A dimpled, baby faced blond was not at all who I pictured in my head until a few years ago.)

So, I went back…..OMG was he cute back in his day (like I said….where has he been?).  He and I are the same age, but he graduated a year later than I (I was a prodigy—I skipped Kindergarten) as class Valedictorian….I wasn’t the class smarty pants….it was an all girls College Prep school…we were all smarty pants….I did okay, but not top of my class. Funny…looking back (trying to describe my studenting) I would say my sister was the troublemaker, I was the angel. Not really so….2 troublemakers. It is probably a good thing we didn’t hang out much back then….apart we were minor little rebels, together….who knows?

Just for drill….he would have been perfect for me back then…sans the blond hair. I was dating a ginger who couldn’t get his life together so I walked. Dex was smart and he played in rebel band. Mostly I would have loved bringing him home because Mom wouldn’t have been able to find fault. She sure liked that other valedictorian I brought home. He is an actual doctor now. But, I digress.

Like many rock stars…these boys started a band with no musical training. Youth. I think their original drummer left the band to become an OB/GYN….a drummer with a medical license to do those things? Thank the rock gods he left before that happened!

I could write about Dex, my current crush, for days (need a new publicist, Dex?).  But, I want to tell you my two favorite things about him……well….after those dimples….#1 is his songwriting ability……seriously…..the Worst Hangover Ever….making deals with God, I’ll do anything….I swear….he wrote and sings what was in my 25 year old hungover head. Great song and well delivered. Why it is not a headbanger’s anthem, I have no idea. Truly, if you listen to his songs, really listen…..he isn’t advocating a loser, punk/rock lifestyle of drugs, sex, and joblessness. He is marching against it….raging against the machine (see what I did there?) of apathy and attitude. He lives his life the same way. Doctorate and all. #2…..that Doctorate. I love that he pursued school while working in a punk band. You have no idea how hard that is. Remember how hard it was to go to college AND party? This guy was getting good grades and fronting a punk band. I’m impressed. I can just hear his parents…and his friends…And, then, he had to decide between his 2 loves…..and, he chose music, the creative one….which I adore. And, then…..after he had conquered that, he put it on pause and he went back to finish school.  See, Mom and Dad……just because you drop out…doesn’t mean you won’t go back and finish some day…..Dex did it….and, I adore that. So…..you know…he is pissing parents off….

He kinda is the real punk rocker…..raging against their own attitudes and lifestyle.

Of course…I bought their 3rd and 5th album and then really got into  them when teaching the girl all she needs to know about music……late to the party.

Also worthy to note……he was/is married to a hair stylist……shocker!  I was on to something with my Rockstar Mondays….has-band or not…in my….I have a Muse blog.

Last…………………….

Went out for my birthday lunch to check out a local bar….without my glasses…”Is that Dexter Holland’s hot sauce on the bar?”…25 year old waitress, just because I look like your mom doesn’t mean I am your mom……and……man, that guy is everywhere I go…..

Are you stalking me, Dex? You don’t need to.  According to Wiki we are a perfect match…call me. If I’m going to date a singer, it might as well be you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.