One Gigantic Dick

I’m way behind on my blogs and most other things in my life. But, I’m so exhausted….I’m almost ready to have those fantasies of being put into the hospital for exhaustion…..almost….but, not quite. And some people find time for that creepy little elf on a shelf.

So, you know, I gotta be motivated. I have tens of blogs waiting to be finished for publication, but I really am going to need to be motivated to rise above all of my exhaustion and whining. Plus, the teenage pit viper my son and I live with, doesn’t like me again. This time I’m a “liar”. Is that a step up or a step down from “lazy”? I can’t keep up with all the teenager slang. So, I could have written teenagers are assholes #2….but, that isn’t much fun.

And then….my friend, and fellow author, Terri George posted this: see big painted dick here .

I immediately replied to her…that this is how my blogs write themselves. “Enormous Penis Pops up” in New York. I mean, how fun is that already?  From the headline, I can see that an artist has painted this 4-story pink love gun on a building in New York.  So, I look. Wow! It is pretty big. Is it art? I don’t know and I am not sure I even care. Because already, these thoughts “pop up” in my head:

  1. Without balls, just looks weird.
  2. Way too much pink…I haven’t seen that much since the pit viper was 5
  3. Talk about penis envy.
  4. Why does it appear hard instead of limp?
  5. I need better photos.
  6. They painted over it already?
  7. Is this a joke? Is this a dick joke? Is this a limp dick joke?
  8. Do you need one, have one, or are you one?
  9. Really….why don’t you have any balls?
  10. This artist normally paints vaginas but, thought she would mix it up..
  11. The article calls the artist “cocky.” (You will also see: erect, member, etc.)

Seriously….I could just sit here and write the blogs that write themselves all day. I don’t even have to go looking for material. It is fucking everywhere. An enormous penis painted on a wall in New York. I meant what the fuck? Are you fucking kidding me? Why? Not “why not?”, WHY? What is the point? To shock? C’mon….Madonna already wears the crown of “shock by cock.”  This seems original but, it really isn’t. I wouldn’t call it art. We call them private parts for a reason.

I personally don’t care. But, I think it is unnecessary. I’m frequently called on the carpet for my frequent and constant use of profanity. I’m called “lazy” (oh, maybe pit viper is on to something:)) and lacking in class, and many other fun and judgy things. These are fair, though not really legitimate, opinions. I think a penis that needs an elevator is lazy as far as art goes. It is easy. Next? Tits? Ass? Pussy?  Then what?  And, really why?  We are just steps away from porn. And, while I write erotica, I still think it has a time and a place.

Article claims that in addition to being art, it will “continue sexual harassment conversations”. I would argue, strongly, that this big dick is just a continuation of same. She did do a fantastic job, though. She did it quickly, but it looks remarkably lifelike – minus the balls.

I can’t decide what I want to be today: political, bitchy, hormonal, sympathetic, soap-boxy, funny. Oh man, do the holidays wreak havoc on everything.