Heather Locklear and FB – WTF?

Facebook. Mombook. Fakebook. I am sure there are other not so nice names to describe this social media outlet. Some love it. Some hate it. Some hate the ones that love it. Or, something like that.

FB is a great tool and fun pastime. It reminds you of your friends’ birthdays and let’s you “see” what is going on in the lives of your friends and family.

I’m not interested in living my life on FB. You won’t see me parade my relationships on here, either. I enjoy looking at yours, though: perfect gift, perfect flowers, perfect engagement, perfect children, perfect perfect. Everything is perfect. And, when it isn’t, you can toss it off as, “we are just wild and crazy guys.” Do these people look happy? Sure. Makes me wonder. Why are they trying so hard to convince everyone of same? I’m not buying it.

Mostly, I wonder if the problem is with me. I don’t want the entire world to know what I had for breakfast or where I am and whom I’m with. Sometimes I share – but, usually way after I have left. Why am I so secretive? Dunno. It is not like I have anything to hide. But, I just don’t want the world to know what I am doing and whom I am with. I was sandwiched in between the aluminum foil hats (and other things to keep the government out of my head) generation and the “hey, Amazon – let me pay you to spy on me” generation. That could be it. 

Fb , like the cigarette people, did what they could to “addict” us. And it worked, for some. I don’t care about likes, shares, etc. they don’t define me. But, I think we all know someone who spends just a little too much time on there.

What does FB and other social media have to do with Heather Locklear? Read on, brave soul. The gist is – you never know.

Heather Locklear. Beautiful, bubbly, and living a seemingly exciting life. I always wanted to be her. She was cute and perky and she married someone from Motley Crue. I know, I wanted Nikki Sixx. Tommy was easily the best looking of the 4, but I only had eyes for Nikki. Look at her now – a few marriages, drunk driving, rehab, questionable 911 calls and trips to the “hospital”.

I am not sure what her demons are. Mine was divorce. There are probably lots of reasons she seems to be swimming in the bottom of the barrel. But, dang. Get up, girl. You sort of prove my point…you have millions, can still earn millions. She is even gorgeous in her mug shots. Only she could manage that. Family, connections, friends, she seems to have everything and yet, I think she has nothing. It’s sad, really.

For some, it is hard to have sympathy or empathy for rich and beautiful women going through hard times. When Tiger and Elan Nordgren split, I felt quite sad for her. I knew some of what she was going through. Losing so much is so hard. Choosing better instead of bitter can be a struggle everyday, depending on your situation. Maybe I picked myself up because I had to. Kids and bills.

I will be eternally grateful that when I was going through mine, the only things people saw on social media are what I decided what would be shared. I could portray any image I wanted. Poor Heather (any Elan and any other celeb), having to live her shame in front of everyone. When I was in the ugly stages of mine, total strangers would walk up to me and say, “you look like you need a hug”….how bad does someone have to look for strangers to want to help? I am very thankful that I did not have to do mine with headlines judging me and showing lovely pix of me in jail. Of course, I didn’t go to jail, but you know what I mean.

And you know what…people forget the stuff that I have done….hell, even I can’t remember everything I’ve done. I’ve learned to apologize, forgive, get better and move on. Celebs get to live it all again over and over in the immediate aftermath. But, God forbid they make another mistake. All new headlines with timelines of all of their past transgressions. Over and over – making another new story from the rehashing of old news. And, pictures. Ugh. I am glad there were no cell phone cameras to record all of my stupid moves.

It happened again. Another beautiful, but sad, mugshot. You know what would be nice? To quit talking about and rehashing how she and others fell apart. Let’s refuse to enjoy the torture by ink the rags are producing. Let’s refuse to do it to anyone. Let’s start talking about how we are going to help her get herself together again. Or, how we can support her and everyone else, while they are putting themselves back together again. Let’s cut her and everyone else who needs it, some slack. It’s hard, I know – for someone who looks beautiful even on her worst day. But, let’s do it. You don’t know what her life is like. Just like nobody knows what your life is like. No matter what it looks like on FB.

I Had Goals and a Plan

I would have said that I am the least likely among my friends to be writing erotica.  I probably did say it in one of my earlier blogs. Here are some of the reasons why: I thinks sex is private and intimate. I don’t care what you do and I don’t want to hear about it…..and I am not going to tell you what I do. My “number” is way lower than some of my friends.  To be fair….it is way higher than some of my friends.  I can name 5 of my friends off the top of my head that married their first partner. So, my “higher number” doesn’t have to go that far. I didn’t read or watch much “porn”. It was never really my thing. 

Always being an avid reader, romance books were my passion in high school. Danielle Steel was really my first love. Everything I liked to read, did not have sex. And, if there was “sex”, it wasn’t explicit. It was more…..”and the lights went out” or, “and they made mad, passionate love.” I skipped the sex scenes when watching movies at home….explicit or no. Well…..except for the sex scene in Mobsters where I fell in love with Christian Slater. I wasn’t embarrassed, really. It is just private. As for watching porn….I have seen it….but, it never did much for me. And, I did blush more in the first few months of telling people what I was writing than I had in my entire life.

I spent 12 years in Catholic schools (I know what some of you are thinking…..’going to Catholic schools is a prerequisite for writing porn’….)  I almost have a post-graduate degree. I go to church. I have a fantastic relationship with my dad. I am well adjusted (debatable…later). The fact that I was writing porn made me laugh and it made some of my friends laugh.   

Recently, my friend’s daughter posted a picture on FB of her surrounded by cops (it is a long and funny story….really). After all of the usual comments…I replied…..”I used to want to get arrested.”  And, in a rush……memories came flooding back.

I was reminded of my “goals” when I was in my early 20’s:

  1. Get arrested
  2. Get in Easyriders magazine
  3. Be in a Motley Crue music video

All of these designed to achieve my “Big Long Term Goal”…..marry Nikki Sixx. I had our wedding planned and everything……white leather mini dress and all. I had the band picked out. The cake. And, that white leather wedding dress.  I couldn’t decide between white pumps (it was the late 80’s after all) or white biker boots. The struggle was real.

So, of course, this made me think.  Hmmmm.  Erotica author seems like it could be the real “Big Term Life Goal” or……#4 at the very least.

Smiling, I think: I am the only girl I know who has been to a strip club…and, not the “Thunder Down Under” kind (do yourself a favor and click on that..it is a beautiful abfest).  And then there is that whole, “My Grandma Was a Stripper” thing. (I know, I know….that blog is coming soon….she was a stripper in the 40’s!)

I had a plan. I had a good plan. Every once in a while I look around at my life and wonder, “when did everything go so horribly wrong? I was supposed to marry Nikki Sixx.” I think we all know Nikki and I were never married. We didn’t even date. Okay……he doesn’t even know I exist. And, was I serious in those pursuits?  Not really…..but, it was sure fun to tell people. Except my parents…..they were NOT amused. But, they never had to bail me out of jail.