I’m Gonna Miss You Matt Lauer

I’m gonna miss you Matt Lauer…especially at Halloween……

Now is a good time to be a woman in the workplace…lots of positions are opening up…..seriously, it is probably time I weigh in….erotica writer and all.  I’m the resident sexpert amongst my friends. With all of these sexual misconduct allegations….it gives me lot to think about.  I have a daughter, I work in an environment where men and women supervise men and women.  

One of the guys who works for me was wearing these cool leather converse shoes….brown leather.  The teenagers and I are converse fans so I leaned over to touch one of his shoes….because I am 5 and I touch stuff…..funny….I always ask the women I am going to touch …. Never the men….hmmm…

Anyway…he said, “thanks for the sexual harassment, please don’t touch me” Whatever, asshole……my forefinger barely grazed his shoe…if he didn’t see it, he wouldn’t have known it and yet…….

He is right.  And if I have to worry about sexual harassment at work…so do men. Fuck.

Remember when I was mentioning about my rich wino friends? Well…their response to sexual harassment irritated the fuck out of me.  They thought….”well..there are laws…honestly…it’s going to happen, Boys will be boys..….blah blah.” Basically, a big fat, “who cares?”

I think I finally know why I get so bent out of shape when people are apathetic about this topic or do not share my views. I was mentally and emotionally abused by someone I lived with. He may not have been doing it intentionally (and, if he was…the ramifications of that….) but, he was still doing it.  I spent years trying to get myself back together.  It took forfuckingever to recover. It was a struggle….it was really hard and I was going through other things related. I went through all of the questions: How could I let this go on? Why did I let it go on on and on for so long? Why did I become a victim? What is horribly wrong with me? No reason? No daddy issues well raised. Good self esteem.  My issues were minor in comparison. Not to diminish other experiences, but some of these women make me look like a whiner. There are experiences on all ends of the sexual abuse scale. I am merely saying that if my abuse had been at a different level, who knows how long it would have taken me to come back.

I’m not surprised to hear about all of the allegations….sad a little…but, glad that if these things are true…I’m happy to hear about all of the no tolerance situations…..makes me happy as a mom….why did these women wait so long? I know why…it is embarrassing and degrading and you just want it to go away and you think if you ignore it, it will go away…but, it never does…NBC is going to save millions….but, wow….I’m happy these women are finding the courage to come forward….

Part of issue…is not just the courage to face their accusers…but, to face themselves in that fucking mirror….why did I wait so long? Why did I let it happen? Why didn’t I say anything? Why didn’t I save all those poor women who came after me? What about the ones before? Was I the first?  Blah blah.  And all of those questions you swept under the rug are back and worse. And now, not only do you have to face the accuser, you have to admit what happened and everyone will know and then you have to answer the questions you tried to avoid and then….and then…the really hard shit happens…you have to fix all the shit that got you where you sit (shit?) today.  Women are NEVER NEVER NEVER  to blame for the sexual harassment of men…assholes…. But, we have to fix all the stuff that comes after and that comes up after.

And as we all know…it is much easier to stay in the relationship that is not quite than it is to start over. It is easier to stay in any fucked up relationship than to change or easier to stay in a crappy job….as soon as you admit there is a problem and all of that…..

And one last thing…so many of these companies are so quick to fire….why? Do they have something to hide? Are they mitigating their damages? Are they afraid now in face of current public climate? Did they know all along? Of fucking course they did….assholes.  Probably men.

And then our jackass of a president threw the whole topic out in favor of some dumb bull shit comment about fake news.  I don’t care if you are the president and you think such fucking stupid things.  Please, please, please…..Keep those stupid things to yourself and shut the fuck up….

Or, maybe we should start talking about fake marriages, fake hair, fake children, fake cheetos makeup……