One Gigantic Dick

I’m way behind on my blogs and most other things in my life. But, I’m so exhausted….I’m almost ready to have those fantasies of being put into the hospital for exhaustion…..almost….but, not quite. And some people find time for that creepy little elf on a shelf.

So, you know, I gotta be motivated. I have tens of blogs waiting to be finished for publication, but I really am going to need to be motivated to rise above all of my exhaustion and whining. Plus, the teenage pit viper my son and I live with, doesn’t like me again. This time I’m a “liar”. Is that a step up or a step down from “lazy”? I can’t keep up with all the teenager slang. So, I could have written teenagers are assholes #2….but, that isn’t much fun.

And then….my friend, and fellow author, Terri George posted this: see big painted dick here .

I immediately replied to her…that this is how my blogs write themselves. “Enormous Penis Pops up” in New York. I mean, how fun is that already?  From the headline, I can see that an artist has painted this 4-story pink love gun on a building in New York.  So, I look. Wow! It is pretty big. Is it art? I don’t know and I am not sure I even care. Because already, these thoughts “pop up” in my head:

  1. Without balls, just looks weird.
  2. Way too much pink…I haven’t seen that much since the pit viper was 5
  3. Talk about penis envy.
  4. Why does it appear hard instead of limp?
  5. I need better photos.
  6. They painted over it already?
  7. Is this a joke? Is this a dick joke? Is this a limp dick joke?
  8. Do you need one, have one, or are you one?
  9. Really….why don’t you have any balls?
  10. This artist normally paints vaginas but, thought she would mix it up..
  11. The article calls the artist “cocky.” (You will also see: erect, member, etc.)

Seriously….I could just sit here and write the blogs that write themselves all day. I don’t even have to go looking for material. It is fucking everywhere. An enormous penis painted on a wall in New York. I meant what the fuck? Are you fucking kidding me? Why? Not “why not?”, WHY? What is the point? To shock? C’mon….Madonna already wears the crown of “shock by cock.”  This seems original but, it really isn’t. I wouldn’t call it art. We call them private parts for a reason.

I personally don’t care. But, I think it is unnecessary. I’m frequently called on the carpet for my frequent and constant use of profanity. I’m called “lazy” (oh, maybe pit viper is on to something:)) and lacking in class, and many other fun and judgy things. These are fair, though not really legitimate, opinions. I think a penis that needs an elevator is lazy as far as art goes. It is easy. Next? Tits? Ass? Pussy?  Then what?  And, really why?  We are just steps away from porn. And, while I write erotica, I still think it has a time and a place.

Article claims that in addition to being art, it will “continue sexual harassment conversations”. I would argue, strongly, that this big dick is just a continuation of same. She did do a fantastic job, though. She did it quickly, but it looks remarkably lifelike – minus the balls.

I can’t decide what I want to be today: political, bitchy, hormonal, sympathetic, soap-boxy, funny. Oh man, do the holidays wreak havoc on everything.

Kathy Griffin, Madonna, Gwyneth and the Dixie Chicks

I saw the weird and ridiculous image this week.  You know the one I am talking about….because it is everywhere and it seems that everyone has weighed in.  And, now she is seeking representation because she is being bullied by the family of the person she…..the person she……

I told myself I wasn’t going to get political on my blog. I wanted to stay away from that.  Not because I care (I write porn after all)….but, because it polarizes…..but, here I go….

Kathy Griffin…REALLY? I like her. I always have. Like Gwyneth….I like her. I don’t love or agree with everything she has to say.  I believe she is smart and it looks like she has taken a page out of Madonna’s publicity (this link doesn’t emphasize the story as I saw it. Her video got banned. So, she packaged it, stirred the controversy, and sold it for $25 a copy…genius) book. And…..really….I am not judgemental…..so, I will tell you what thoughts went through my head……

  • Amusing
  • Why? What did he do to her?
  • Why must we resort to violence?
  • I understand you don’t like him….find another way to make your point…..a point that has become a dead horse, btw
  • Spend time/$$$ trying to impeach; or educate; or explain to the public things they may not know
  • Be a source of good, not evil
  • Omg…..does she really need the publicity this badly?
  • How can I respond to this lovingly? Because I am so fucking tired of this bullshit

We live in a free country folks…..so….yes, you can express yourself by publishing a photo of you and a body-less president. And said president and anyone else who disagrees…..can express their opinion about what you did.  Remember the Dixie Chicks?  The said what they wanted.  Gained some fans. Lost some. Learned a lot, I imagine.  I felt the same way then….yeah, you can express your opinion….but, you might look like an asshole. In both cases, I am willing to forgive.  I figure they will get what is coming to them, I didn’t need to deliver it…..wouldn’t it be hilarious if the Dixie Chicks came to Kathy’s defense?  OMG….you saw it here first.  But, think about it….those D Chix…..haven’t had much to say in a long while.

Which brings me to my next point…..Who the fuck cares what Kathy or the D Chix or any other celebrity has to say about anything?  And, why would we take the time to discuss it over and over?  This will be good for her career, I am sure. Since where has it been lately?  But, really…..I don’t know these people.  I couldn’t give a shit what they think. On top of that….our lives have nothing in common.  Also….my friends are an eclectic group…..some on opposite ends of the spectrum.  Some in the middle…..I told you I didn’t care. I can see both sides to the debate.

So….I’m writing about it and it is all over the news. It sure stirred up a lot of shit. Hmmmm….weird. Isn’t she just one of those kind of comedians? Says things for their shock value?  She did just what she set out to do….get attention and let everyone know how she feels about the president.  Look at all of the people who hate him, yet condemn her…..standing up for him in any way supports hims just a little. Don’t ya think?

My rant is almost over……but, my whole point was this…..why be mean? Let’s be nice. If you don’t like something, change it…put your money where your mouth is. Do something to make the situation better.  Make the world a better place.  So..the rant turned into a whine.  Sue me. Have a great week everyone.

P.S. I just googled her to find a link for this blog…..guess what? She is on a 50 city book tour.  Coincidence? C’mon everyone.