iF U Cee Kay

It has been brought to my attention recently (on more than one occasion) that I say “fuck” a lot. Okay…it was no surprise. I know I have a potty mouth.

A million years ago, I was an outgoing 16 year old going to an all girls catholic school. We had just been given the gift of a young, good looking janitor with a nice butt.  I asked him one day how he liked working at the school.  He said he liked it fine, but there were 2 things he was going to have to get used to: 1. Girls just taking their clothes off in the hallway (well…yeah….who wanted to wear that stupid, polyester, itchy, nightmare any longer than we had too…have you ever tried to get into a girls bathroom at the end of the school day when 300 other girls wanted to get out of their uniforms, too?)  and 2. He said he had worked construction, grew up with brothers….but, he had learned some new swear words at this good old catholic school.

Yeah…..we were not a bunch of nuns (as some kids at public schools thought) and we were not a home for unwed mothers (as some kids at public school thought….) we had to rebel in some way…..so, I guess that was it.  And, I have been honing my craft ever since.  

There is some sort of possibility that had I had my kids younger, I wouldn’t have raised my swearing to an art form. It really is….I can swear anywhere. I can swear inappropriately (last week at the memorial I said “Jesus Christ.” In vain. To the preacher’s wife) So…inappropriate at the inappropriate time. Sometimes I wonder why so many terrific people continue to be my friends.

And…I will admit….Fuck is definitely my favorite word. I have been able to use it as any part of speech: adjective, verb, noun, adverb, preposition. I swear everywhere and in front of everyone. I am not necessarily proud of it.  But, I am not necessarily disgusted by it. It is a bad habit that I have. And, I just don’t think the habit is so bad that I need to change it. I quit smoking. I work in many little ways every day to improve myself.  I want to become more accepting and more loving.  I am not very judgmental….but, I don’t always respond lovingly.  For example….I still want to take a baseball bat to my X. But, I don’t. And, lately…I am trying not to want to beat the crap out of him when he opens his mouth. The struggle is real, people.

I say fuck. A lot. And, I don’t apologize. I am okay with it.  I am honest. I do not steal. I donate to several causes (even when I don’t really have the $$$ to donate). I pray for everyone. A lot. I have taught my kids to say a little prayer every time we hear a siren. I am open, forgiving, helpful, kind, thoughtful and very generous.  I am one of the most positive people you will ever meet.  I am the one who will find something great in the middle of something horrible. I don’t even have to try anymore. It is just who I am. I have many fantastic qualities. I have many faults. Right now, I am okay if one of those faults is that I swear like it is my job. I like me and who I am. There are worse things I could say. There are worse things I could do. There are worse things I could be.  If you are going to judge me….you know what my reply would be……