Kathy Griffin, Madonna, Gwyneth and the Dixie Chicks

I saw the weird and ridiculous image this week.  You know the one I am talking about….because it is everywhere and it seems that everyone has weighed in.  And, now she is seeking representation because she is being bullied by the family of the person she…..the person she……

I told myself I wasn’t going to get political on my blog. I wanted to stay away from that.  Not because I care (I write porn after all)….but, because it polarizes…..but, here I go….

Kathy Griffin…REALLY? I like her. I always have. Like Gwyneth….I like her. I don’t love or agree with everything she has to say.  I believe she is smart and it looks like she has taken a page out of Madonna’s publicity (this link doesn’t emphasize the story as I saw it. Her video got banned. So, she packaged it, stirred the controversy, and sold it for $25 a copy…genius) book. And…..really….I am not judgemental…..so, I will tell you what thoughts went through my head……

  • Amusing
  • Why? What did he do to her?
  • Why must we resort to violence?
  • I understand you don’t like him….find another way to make your point…..a point that has become a dead horse, btw
  • Spend time/$$$ trying to impeach; or educate; or explain to the public things they may not know
  • Be a source of good, not evil
  • Omg…..does she really need the publicity this badly?
  • How can I respond to this lovingly? Because I am so fucking tired of this bullshit

We live in a free country folks…..so….yes, you can express yourself by publishing a photo of you and a body-less president. And said president and anyone else who disagrees…..can express their opinion about what you did.  Remember the Dixie Chicks?  The said what they wanted.  Gained some fans. Lost some. Learned a lot, I imagine.  I felt the same way then….yeah, you can express your opinion….but, you might look like an asshole. In both cases, I am willing to forgive.  I figure they will get what is coming to them, I didn’t need to deliver it…..wouldn’t it be hilarious if the Dixie Chicks came to Kathy’s defense?  OMG….you saw it here first.  But, think about it….those D Chix…..haven’t had much to say in a long while.

Which brings me to my next point…..Who the fuck cares what Kathy or the D Chix or any other celebrity has to say about anything?  And, why would we take the time to discuss it over and over?  This will be good for her career, I am sure. Since where has it been lately?  But, really…..I don’t know these people.  I couldn’t give a shit what they think. On top of that….our lives have nothing in common.  Also….my friends are an eclectic group…..some on opposite ends of the spectrum.  Some in the middle…..I told you I didn’t care. I can see both sides to the debate.

So….I’m writing about it and it is all over the news. It sure stirred up a lot of shit. Hmmmm….weird. Isn’t she just one of those kind of comedians? Says things for their shock value?  She did just what she set out to do….get attention and let everyone know how she feels about the president.  Look at all of the people who hate him, yet condemn her…..standing up for him in any way supports hims just a little. Don’t ya think?

My rant is almost over……but, my whole point was this…..why be mean? Let’s be nice. If you don’t like something, change it…put your money where your mouth is. Do something to make the situation better.  Make the world a better place.  So..the rant turned into a whine.  Sue me. Have a great week everyone.

P.S. I just googled her to find a link for this blog…..guess what? She is on a 50 city book tour.  Coincidence? C’mon everyone.

Golden Showers? Golden Slumbers?

Gwyneth Paltrow has said a lot of memorable things in the time she has been a celeb. She has gotten so good at saying memorable things that she started a blog. She calls it goop. I will be honest and say I haven’t spent much time on this particular blog.  I will also say that there have been times in the last 20 years or so that Gwyneth would say something that resonated with me.  Not very many times. But, there were times.  If pushed, I would say that I like her. I would like to know her. But, I am not sure how much we have in common.

Imagine my amusement when I came across the following headline: “No, Gwyneth Paltrow, women should not put jade eggs in their vaginas, gynecologist says”    I am always looking for things to blog about. Especially sex things. And, things sexually related that might be “news” to some of my friends and readers. If I can make jokes or make people laugh in the process…..count me in. Before I write about stuff, I try to do at least a little research, so I read the article.  Then, I looked over her blog.  Apparently there are lots of really good reasons (according to Gwyneth) and some really not good reasons (according to others) to insert jade eggs into your vagina. And…..some similar reasons to squat over a pot of steam….naked.  If you are interested….check out both articles.

First I want to share my initial reactions…..WHAT? WHAT?  JUST……WHAT?  RUFKM? VAGINAL STEAMING? WHAT? There were so many places to go with this….why? When? How? Where? Who thinks up this shit? Not enough words. Too many words. In my “new life” I have tried many new things. I figure…what the hell? And, then, I try to bring my friends to the table.  That doesn’t work so well. Mostly…..when I share some stuff…I really get a giggle out of their reactions. I cannot wait to discuss “vaginal steaming” with the crowd that thinks bikini area waxing and shaping should be done quarterly…..if at all.

And…here is my Whoopi Goldberg turn……is this stuff I never wanted to know? Was I happy in my “stupid, ignorant, sheltered married bubble”? Yes. Yes, I was. And, yet….I am so much happier than I was.  I am pretty sure it isn’t because I know all about “vaginal steaming”…..But, I am learning new things.  I am exploring new options.  I am feeling very strong in my voice. And, my path. Which, at this time, does not include vaginal steaming.

Two more things…….I recently received an email from ok cupid….a free dating website…it was asking what I thought the biggest dating deal breaker was.  Apparently, people would rather date someone who likes “golden showers” more than they would date Trump supporters. Again….so many words. Not enough words. WHAT? Why and on what planet does anyone think it is okay sending an email to anyone talking about golden showers? Seriously?  I know I fucking write porn….I don’t care. You know what you get when you buy my books or read my blog.  I am a potty-mouthed writer.  But, I join a free dating website and I get this crap?  Is that someone’s way of pushing me to do things that I might find uncomfortable or are they desensitizing me? Are they just assholes that think that shit is funny? Would anybody ever send an email to any married person about how to save their marriage by participating in golden showers.  FUCK NO!!!! Golden Slumbers.…for no reason except that I can’t get that song out of my head.

#2. On a side note…..I heard today that there is a new word for vagina…..vagine. Pronounced “vuhjeen”….you know. It’s French. Like Tarjaayyy…the french discount store.