Another day…..another musician in my life has passed away. Chris Cornell. Soundgarden, Audioslave….and….Temple of the Dog….well….mostly the Hunger Strike song. I will admit…..I came to him and grunge late. In the late 80’s and early 90’s I was still banging my head with all the “long-hairs” at my local live music club. I was smoking and drinking and going to college and post-grad school. I was in constant pursuit, just like that Poison song Nothing but a good time. And then…….AND THEN…….okay….there is no other way to put it……Grunge killed metal…..and, for me…the battle was bloody. First I was having fun…even when my neck hurt…..then all this deep dark, depressing crap on the radio. So, like any good little head-banger….I rebelled. I quit listening to “new music” and started listening to oldies. You know….Rolling Stones, Zepp, AC/DC. (This is a whole ‘nother blog post….)
Somewhere in early 2000, I pulled my head out. Okay…not true. I watched every single Behind the Music and realized…..wow….it is possible that between Nirvana and Pearl Jam (whom I had rigorously boycotted…I mean c’mon……they killed metal) some other good music was produced. Sometime after I fell in love with Foo Fighters, No Doubt, Collective Soul…..I discovered Soundgarden and Audioslave…but, if I was honest….I fell in love with Chris Cornell’s voice. So…I “hated” grunge….but, liked this stuff. Yes…I know…it sound alike….whatever. That is also when I discovered Hootie and Gin Blossoms and all those other light grunge bands. Or whatever they were.
Since then I have been making up for lost time. I will admit that while I liked the voice and the music…I never got into the minutia of their music….by that I mean..I can’t name every member, what their instruments are, what bands they’ve been in and blah blah….this is something I have done since young….I have more music facts and information in my head than people would think. And…..it is something I stopped doing after I went to metal’s funeral.
So….suicide? I don’t know. He was married? Kids? No idea. But, he was my age-ish. At my age, I have learned that nothing lasts forever. If I forget that, I have also learned…..things change. And, I know that wanting to harm myself is not normal…..so…it bums me out when people over 25 do it.
I could go into my “musicians are temperamental, hormonal girls (even when they are men) and that most artists are “tortured”……but, that helps nothing.
I googled him….read this article. In it, he says……”I was driving home from a restaurant gig thinking: ‘It doesn’t matter to me if it’s hugely successful, it matters that we get to create our own songs and art. I don’t care if I have to break concrete if that supports the art,’ ” he said. “I didn’t want to play Police covers in the back of a Chinese restaurant, that’s not me. … Something felt really settled in me when I thought that.”
Now…this I can relate too……I have come to the place in my life/writing career….where….I no longer have a list of “must-haves (house, good job, expensive clothes, etc). I want to write. I want to do it by the beach. And, now I can. I have a new plan. Once I decided what I wanted to do…..I also got calm and settled inside. I am no longer worried about the future. I am looking forward to it. After years of upheaval and recovery from stupidity and circumstance…..I am in a great place.
He was young. I think he had a lot more to give us. He is gone too soon. I am thankful for the music legacy he left. R.I.P. Chris Cornell.
It is surprising when we wake up to hearing another talented soul is lost. It is a reminder that we must live life everyday. I cannot wait to visit you in your beach house and write alongside you someday. Your plan rocks and you, my dear, are living the dream. Keep up the amazing work and I cannot wait to read more blogs and more books!