How Did I Get Here?

My friend and I were discussing a book she is currently reading. The book describes how we need to determine our true purpose or reach our dreams. It discusses how if you look at all of the “strings” that have been provided in your life, and are able to weave them together, you will discover your true purpose and achieve your goals. Interesting premise. I looked for the book on Amazon and discovered it was a religious book about our purpose through God. I am not sure that God (if there is one) wants me to be successful by writing porn stories…..but, it did get me thinking. How exactly did I get here?

I have always wanted to write a book. But, doesn’t everyone? I also wanted to be a dancer……but, I never took a dance class after 2nd Grade. I have spent my fair share of time on dance floors in bars, however. I had taken a lot of writing courses over the years….but, never pursued that either. I didn’t have a story. I read a lot and wished for inspiration, but it never came.

Fast forward through jobs and marriage and kids and being a stay at home mom.  I never felt like I had a “goal”, I was just living every day as it arrived. And, as a stay at home mom, I was too tired to read, much less write. So, kids got older, husband moved on and I was starting over. The divorce was ugly and I was under pressure to get a job immediately.  So, I did. It was a decent job and it was a job, but it did not pay well.  So, I got another job. It paid better but, was not what I wanted to do. Which was okay. Not everyone loves their job. So, I looked for other jobs.  

In the meantime, this 2nd job provided a laptop for me to use and take home if I wanted. I did that too. Spent a lot of time on Pinterest and FB, but that became boring quickly. I had also rekindled an old friendship online. While it was mostly innocent (really, no flirting, no sexting, no secret rendezvous) on both of our parts, it became a source of frustration for me. I had fallen in love with him the day we met. And, my feelings hadn’t really changed. He was married at the time. I have woven the pieces of our story into my books and I am not going to elaborate here, but I decided I needed to address the frustration I was having. I figured if I wrote our love story, I could get over it and move on. And, I had this handy laptop.

So, write I did. Whenever I had free time. Since I was sharing custody and was not seeing anyone, I had a LOT of free time. Plus, writing was cheap….I could afford it. My “love story” quickly turned into something else. I had so much fun writing about us, I got to thinking about everyone whom has “one that got away” and wouldn’t it be fun to explore the possibilities of that? I wrote and wrote and wrote. For about a year. Hundreds of pages. And, somewhere between the first word and now, the characters stopped resembling me and him and their activities changed….a LOT.

I had purchased some of these online stories myself. I thought I had a different voice to add. And I had all of these filled pages.  I started to research publishers and self publishing sites. Soon, what had filled up my free time started to spillover into my not so “free” time. I would back-burner my plans. Then I started to loathe my job and ramped up my job hunting. That also takes a ton of time.  When 2 jobs that I really wanted did not become mine, I started to think again. What did I really want? I wanted a job with some flexibility that paid enough to meet my bills and feed my kids. I wanted weekends off. I wanted to work ½ a day if I needed to. I wanted to work the hours I wanted to work. I am sure you can see where this is going. I always wanted to be a writer. I had written a lot of stuff. I wanted to be my own boss.  I took the plans to publish off the back burner and pushed forward.

I am not sure where this is going to lead. And I haven’t quit my day job yet. But, I do know, when I look back to where I have been…and where I started….this adventure will have lead me to the next place I need to be in my life. For years I seemed to be just going along for the ride. For the first time in a long time, I am finally driving the bus. It feels good. It is fun and exciting and interesting. And, I am going to enjoy every single step. Because, I am successful already before I sell the first book. I will keep you posted.

Check out this sexy read….

What Am I Doing?

Publishing your first book is a fantastic and ridiculous experience. It requires more than just a good idea for a story. Much more. If you have written something that you think is worth publishing, you have to decide: self publish or not. I chose to self publish. So, all of the decisions were mine. Also fantastic and ridiculous. Something that started on a whim (a blog for another day) is now requiring some serious thought and research. Where do I publish? How long should my “story” be? Should I put all of my stories together and make a book? Should I structure it as a series instead? How much should I charge for it? Where and how to publish? How many times should I edit/update? Who should read it? Should someone read it? What should I name the characters? Should I use a pseudonym? What will my pseudonym be? Who do I tell? What if they want to read it? Is it good enough to publish? Will anyone like it? Read it? Buy it? And on and on until I am a freaked out mess. (If you haven’t figured it out by now, I have a tendency to obsess and over think some things. Not all things, just some things.)

While trying to nail down the answers to these questions (and many more) I also had to figure out a name and think about the cover. Fortunately for me, I had a graphic artist friend (see her info) willing to do the artwork for free. So, I phoned her with my name dilemma.  I told her the name I had picked out, “Dreams and Fantasies” which she thought was too literal. Dang. She suggested “Deep Surrender” or “Dark Ecstasy”, which I loved but a quick search told me they were already books. Then we started getting silly: “Lick Me” (already taken numerous times); “Fuck Me Cross-Eyed” which lead to “Fuck Each Other Stupid” (a line from one of my books, actually); “Hard Surrender”; “Dark Hardness”; and “Hard Darkness”, to name a few. It was funny and we were laughing, but I still hadn’t picked out a name.

I started to research how important a good title was. Maybe I could just pick anything. Concensus was that the title was VERY IMPORTANT! Great! More anxiety. Somehow in all that searching, I found a link to Lulu.com . An online publisher that had a “title grader” on it.  Fabulous. I just answered a few questions, typed in the name and Lulu provided me with a percentage score on whether or not the book would be a best seller. I entered every name we had come up with and received the scores of 16%, 27%, and 32%. Bummer. I wanted to sell my books, turn lots of people on, and quit my day job. Even 32% wasn’t good enough for those lofty goals. And, then I typed in “Dark Compliance”…..score of 69%!  I think we have a winner here.  Name search over. Anxiety and obsessing over (for now). I will let you know how it works out.

Check out this sexy read

Introducing Hard Compliance!

Hard Compliance Series: Book #6 Debut!

Buckle up your seatbelts, stow your belongings, get yourself together and take a long deep breath… The Hard Compliance series by Bianca Ahonen is about to make its debut!

All erotica fans and horny people out there, listen up as I am coming to bedrooms near you. One book at a time. As Carrie Bradshaw said, “Some love stories aren’t epic novels, some are short stories… but that doesn’t make them any less filled with love.” Before I introduce Eric and Carrie, let me introduce myself.

Who knew a girl who spent 12 years in Catholic schools wearing the same uniform as everyone else would lead to becoming a grown woman writing erotica? Four of those years were even in an all-girls’ school with no boys allowed. Maybe that is why I have always been boy crazy . I can sure tell you that when I graduated at 17…writing erotica stories was not on my radar. And, I am sure that those amazing nuns who taught me grammar, spelling and sentence structure, had no idea what they were preparing me for!

I have always loved reading and writing but never had a story when the thoughts of penning something came to mind. It became a way to pass time and the whole thing snow-balled. I looked down one day and had written over 500 pages filled with stories, sex…and more sex. I wasn’t planning on publishing any of this. But, a friend who kept begging to read what I had written, made an offhand comment about publishing my stories and 6 months later…..here I am. These stories turned me on. I am sure they will turn you on.

Hard Compliance is the first in my series… well, sort of a first. The middle is now the beginning.

Having written about 10 beginnings and having the makings of either a long book or a variety of short stories… for a brief moment I was stuck… but realized, maybe a series? Stitching everything together to make one book would have taken too long and I was looking for something quicker. (It HAS been six months since I started down this road…I need a spanking as I failed my swift goal…quick, my ass! I had hoped for sooner but now is the time!) While editing towards the end, I realized the beginning of my writing was too tame and the later stories  were the opposite. (Get ready for some sexy good lovin’!) So, I decided to start in the middle and Book 6 will be debuting first.

The middle, now beginning, introduces Eric and Carrie and will set the scene so to speak. I will then continue to publish their on-going relationship with the other books. Of course, starting in the middle of their relationship is fitting as the “beginning of their story”, where these books begin, is actually somewhere in the middle of their story.

Eric and Carrie meet when they are with other people. Their connection, however, is instant as soon as the look into each other’s eyes. Soulmates? Maybe. Probably. Their “connection” binds them together for years. Unfortunately, they seem to be a case of “right couple…..wrong time, wrong time, wrong time.”  They lose track of each other while living their lives, but the internet is a fabulous thing. They reconnect just as Carrie is  entering a nasty divorce and Eric is married to someone else, with a baby. Their friendship remains platonic in words and action….but continues to grow as they support each other through the trials (literally and figuratively) and tribulations of life. Years go by and they are finally free to be together at the same time. Book 6 picks up a few months down the road, after they have blended their families.

As a newly published author, I want to thank you for reading my beloved Hard Compliance series and supporting my love for writing. Eric and Carrie are dear to my heart and I hope they become friends of yours too. Share this blog with all the erotica lovers you know. I have found my new passion and am so excited for what’s to come.

So grab a glass of wine or a hot cup of tea or jump into a steamy hot bubbly bath or curl up in bed and get ready for some fun, fantasy, and a whole lot of sex. Start with just one or all of these short stories if you’re in the mood for a quickie or if you like multiples…read one after another….after another….after another. And don’t worry, I have more from where this came from.

Here it is…..check it out and get turned on….