I would have said that I am the least likely among my friends to be writing erotica. I probably did say it in one of my earlier blogs. Here are some of the reasons why: I thinks sex is private and intimate. I don’t care what you do and I don’t want to hear about it…..and I am not going to tell you what I do. My “number” is way lower than some of my friends. To be fair….it is way higher than some of my friends. I can name 5 of my friends off the top of my head that married their first partner. So, my “higher number” doesn’t have to go that far. I didn’t read or watch much “porn”. It was never really my thing.
Always being an avid reader, romance books were my passion in high school. Danielle Steel was really my first love. Everything I liked to read, did not have sex. And, if there was “sex”, it wasn’t explicit. It was more…..”and the lights went out” or, “and they made mad, passionate love.” I skipped the sex scenes when watching movies at home….explicit or no. Well…..except for the sex scene in Mobsters where I fell in love with Christian Slater. I wasn’t embarrassed, really. It is just private. As for watching porn….I have seen it….but, it never did much for me. And, I did blush more in the first few months of telling people what I was writing than I had in my entire life.
I spent 12 years in Catholic schools (I know what some of you are thinking…..’going to Catholic schools is a prerequisite for writing porn’….) I almost have a post-graduate degree. I go to church. I have a fantastic relationship with my dad. I am well adjusted (debatable…later). The fact that I was writing porn made me laugh and it made some of my friends laugh.
Recently, my friend’s daughter posted a picture on FB of her surrounded by cops (it is a long and funny story….really). After all of the usual comments…I replied…..”I used to want to get arrested.” And, in a rush……memories came flooding back.
I was reminded of my “goals” when I was in my early 20’s:
All of these designed to achieve my “Big Long Term Goal”…..marry Nikki Sixx. I had our wedding planned and everything……white leather mini dress and all. I had the band picked out. The cake. And, that white leather wedding dress. I couldn’t decide between white pumps (it was the late 80’s after all) or white biker boots. The struggle was real.
So, of course, this made me think. Hmmmm. Erotica author seems like it could be the real “Big Term Life Goal” or……#4 at the very least.
Smiling, I think: I am the only girl I know who has been to a strip club…and, not the “Thunder Down Under” kind (do yourself a favor and click on that..it is a beautiful abfest). And then there is that whole, “My Grandma Was a Stripper” thing. (I know, I know….that blog is coming soon….she was a stripper in the 40’s!)
I had a plan. I had a good plan. Every once in a while I look around at my life and wonder, “when did everything go so horribly wrong? I was supposed to marry Nikki Sixx.” I think we all know Nikki and I were never married. We didn’t even date. Okay……he doesn’t even know I exist. And, was I serious in those pursuits? Not really…..but, it was sure fun to tell people. Except my parents…..they were NOT amused. But, they never had to bail me out of jail.