I am Invisible

I am so fucking tired of being invisible.  And, you know what…I have news for you young people….you are fucking stupid.  And, here is why……

I’m older…..probably older than your parents. Not only have I been around the block a few times, I learned some things walking, driving, and running around that block. Like, how to tip. How to appreciate good service. And, what good customer service is.

So…..a few years ago, I decided to finally just call a truce with my hair.  I wanted, once upon a time, to have long, thick, curly “rocker-bitch” hair.  I wasn’t born with it and no matter how much money or time I spent….I was never able to achieve it. And, no, I never tried extensions….because….well….because.  I am a firm believer in “what you see is what you get.”  I will not swear more once I get to know you.  I will not dress less once I get to know you. I did not stuff my bra when I was a kid…..and now…well…..  Anyway…..this is me. I am still going to voice my opinion about whatever. I don’t have time (seriously….over half my life is over) to be something I am not. I no longer care if I impress people or not….which is the topic of another blog….about why being my age is so fantastic.

Anyway…..I started going gray in my late 20’s…..thanks, Dad (he was fully gray by 40…but, really, he had this beautiful white hair.  White.)  Finally…..luckily? For me…a new trend appeared about the same time I decided that I was no longer going to piss away money to hide the gray. My stylist had been begging me for months to do it.  So, I did.  And now, I have a full head of white hair with silver streaks…..it is gorgeous (I know this because I get a ton of compliments on it from others…some even asked me how I got it that color). And, it is easy and cheap.  But…..it and my age I suppose, have taken me to that invisible place.  

So…once again….I am in the best place in my life that I have ever been.  I am happier than I have ever been.  I am the best version of myself I have ever been….and, nobody gives a shit. I get it….I’m not young and hot anymore…..I get it. But….I am a better friend and lover than I was when I was young and hot….I have learned a TON about life and sex since I was young and hot.  And I don’t know if I was ever really “hot”…but, I was young…..and thin.  And got some attention.  But, now….(I was going to say I can’t even get arrested…but, I no longer want to and was not arrested back then either….although I have spent some time in the backseat of a police car)…now….despite big tits, a big mouth, and white hair…..I get no attention. I have to wait forever to get a drink at the bar. The men have stopped flirting and trying to pick up on me (okay….not really fair….there are just less of them now). Cinderella was right….you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone. I finally understand what my Dad has been saying my whole life: youth is wasted on the young. I say it all the time now, too.

And…I can only see this getting worse as I grow wrinkles and a stooped walk. I will become further and further away from 25…..(shit…I’m closer to 75 than 25….fuck me...)  I will have to bring my own flask to bars, I guess.  Can you see it now…..I pull out my flask (because I guarantee some young waiter or waitress will see that)….and they come over to try to take it away or tell me I can’t drink from it in their bar?  Can you imagine? Because I see me (and everybody my age and older)…..dumping all of our frustration from this unwanted cloak of invisibility onto this unsuspecting ageist…..here is what I will say…”fuck you, you fucking fuck…..and then I am sure I would continue to pour all over her to make up for all the times I was ignored or not seen. Of course….this could be the fun part of being old and invisible.

This is why old people are grouchy…because they can be, they are driven to be, and they have a right to be. All you little whippersnappers better look out…….