Today, I found my answer to the question, “What do you do?” My answer now is: “I use Google Maps everywhere I go because when I reach my destination, Google maps says, ‘you have arrived””
I love that! I have arrived. I love hearing it and it makes my day. Simple girl, I know.
And it solves my issue of whether or not to respond with my boring job or my exciting, fun erotica job. I mean, really, why should anyone get all the good stuff in the first few minutes? They should have to work for that shit.
When I thought of that last line, it amused me, so I left it. But, now that I think about it, I have changed some things in my experienced years. I no longer treat each new person I meet as a friend. I treat them like a potential friend. While this may be second nature for some, it is a new skill for me. I really pay attention to who is asking me questions, what types of questions they are asking, and how they respond to my answers. I have learned a ton.
A few weeks ago, I was in one of my local haunts when the bouncer (younger, hot, studly) approached me to compliment me on my outfit. I have known him for years, he is always pleasant and calm. We have never exchanged names or numbers, but we have said hello. And, the one time Jamie (partner in crime) decided to bring her own alcohol, he was very nice. She had it in an opaque water bottle. She, like me, hates being invisible and waiting to get served. If I’m going to take my own alcohol, though, I would drink it in the bathroom. Or in the car. Not Jamie. It was hot. And she thought we could stand 3 feet to the right of the door and that would be okay. I was trying to subtly tell her this was not okay when Younger, Hot, Stud walks over and says, “Ladies. C’mon. Really?” She acted dumb and I just stood there wishing I had a beer. He gave her a little lesson about where to drink her alcohol and never one time said anything like, “at your age…” And, you should know, Jamie is no fool. She finished her drink while he was being polite.
I was shocked at the compliment, though, as he had never done this before. Even my PIC looked up from her phone. I thanked him and he got called to duty. You know, drunk people aren’t the most responsible group.
About 10 minutes go by and he circles back. And, he says to me, “I’m sorry. I got called away while you were answering me. What were you saying?”
What? I can honestly say I cannot remember anyone ever doing that to me before. I sure noticed. I am looking forward to our next trip to that place and hope to raise a little cain while I am there. (wink, wink, Jamie)
I am used to being ignored. But, not only was I not invisible in this instance, I was center stage. My “Invisible” blog generated a slew of emotions in my readers. So many who feel like me. Invisible.
It seems like the universe has been telling me for a long time……why you gotta make things so difficult? So, I’m not. Just like I have said before. After today I am through running after things. The ice cream man can go fuck himself. Okay. I didn’t say it originally. But, it’s funny. Really, though. I’m done. I’m done being sad I don’t get to hang out with my friends as much as I would like, so I’m making new friends. I’m done worrying about my teenagers hating me – they are supposed to and, to be fair, sometimes the feeling is mutual. I’m done talking to people who don’t listen. I could go on and on…but, do you get my point? I am going to be interested in the people who are interested in me. I am going to do the things that I love with people who love it too. I quit caring what people think years ago. Now, I choose to do what is easy.
So, not only did I let go of something else, I moved forward in another direction. Not only is it easy, it doesn’t rob me of any joy. So, happy marches on. And, I don’t feel invisible anymore. If you don’t see me, I will find more who will.